956........

WOMAN'S ENGLISH:

Yes = No.
No = Yes.
Maybe = No.
I'msorry = You'll be sorry...
We need = I want.
It's your decision = Thecorrect decision should be obvious by now.
Do what ever you want = You'll payfor this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure go ahead = Idon't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You'reso manly = You need a shave, and you sweat a lot.
This kitchen is soinconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, andfurniture, and wallpaper.
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almostasleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
Howmuch do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate.
I'll beready in a minute = I'll be ages but do NOT put the TV back on.
You have tolearn to communicate = Just agree with me.


MEN'S ENGLISH:

I'mhungry = I'm hungry.
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.
I'm tired = I'm tired.
Doyou want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can Itake you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can Icall you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
May I havethis dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Nice dress! = Nicecleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondleyou.
What's wrong? = What stupid self-inflicted psychological trauma is itnow?
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question?
I'm bored= Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let's have sex now!
I love you,too = Okay, I said it. Now can we have sex?
Yes, I like the way you cut yourhair = I liked it better before.
Let's talk = I'll impress you by showing youI am a deep guy then, ...maybe sex?
Will you marry me? = I want to make itillegal for you to have sex withothers.