955......

FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE-BASHINGJOKES

How many men does it take toopen a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she bringsit.
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Why is a Laundromat a reallybad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washingmachine will probably never be able to supportyou.
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Why do women have smallerfeet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them tostand closer to the kitchensink.
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How do you know when awoman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "Aman once told me..."
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How do youfix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on theoven.
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Why do men break wind morethan women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the requiredpressure.
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If your dog is barkingat the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let infirst?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let himin.
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What's worse than a MaleChauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she'stold.
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I married Miss Right. I justdidn't know her first name wasAlways.
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I haven't spoken to mywife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupther.
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Scientists have discovered afood that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a WeddingCake.
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Marriage is a 3-ringcircus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring,Suffering.
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Our last fight was myfault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
I said,"Dust!"
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In the beginning, Godcreated the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God createdWoman. Since then, neither God nor Man hasrested.
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Why do men die beforetheir wives? They want to.
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Abeggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "Ihaven't eaten anything for days."
She looked at him and said, "God, I wish Ihad your willpower."
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Young Son:"Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know hiswife until he marries her?"
Dad: That happens in every country,son.
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A man inserted anadvertisement in the classified:
Wife Wanted." The next day he received ahundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can havemine."
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The most effective way toremember your wife's birthday is to forget itonce.
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Women will never be equalto men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, andstill think they are beautiful.

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