Pixies Place Forums - View Single Post

I posted this once before on another thread, I dug it up thinking it might help. This is written from a male view point and I hope it does not sound like I am preaching. So with that out of the way lets get to the good stuff.

There is a simply but very complicated three step process to having anal sex I will try to explain.
Step 1. Relaxation
Step 2. Preparation
Step 3. Lubrication
Anal intercourse is not really something the man decides on, there or very few occasions when he says “this is what I am doing, and your going to like it”. He may say this is what I want!, but if the lady is not in the mood and mind set for anal play all the lube in the world will not help.
You have to first convince, your lady to not only try, anal play but to want anal play, she can’t do it just for you and not have some discomfort. The very first thing that must be done and this is the hardest part, is to relax your partner, you must get her to unwind, calm down, sooth her feelings and her body, get her to open up and most important to TRUST you. She has to know that you will not hurt her. This step is crucial I can’t stress enough how important relaxing her is. With my wife of 11 years and in discussions with friend it seams that for couples to reach this level of trust and understanding takes along time to develop. Anal intercourse might be something you will have to wait on for your lady to come around too, and if you care about her you don’t want push her on this.
Now if you can get her relaxed and “in the mood” start slow try something like gently rubbing one finger around the anus use a circular motion or a tickling motion. Do this for a few minutes while you kiss her lips and the rest of her body use your other hand to caress her all over, pay attention to how she reacts and listen to her breathing? You can tell a lot about how your girl feels by the ways she breaths. When SHE is ready NOT when you are ready, slowly insert one finger into her anus make sure you use lots of lube try doing this while you are going down on her and licking her pussy, it seems to help if you give the women another feeling or sensation to help take her focused away from the anal insertion. After you get your finger in let it rest in her for a minute or so let her adjust to the size before you start moving, if things have gone well she will begin to rock her hips and slide up and down al by herself. Let her set the pace and depth she feels comfortable with. Talk to her, ask, how she is doing and if she likes it. Believe me you will be able to tell if she is not enjoying things up to this point, if she doesn’t like it STOP back of and continue with regular intercourse. DO NOT make a big deal over a failed attempt, Let her set the pace, you can always try again another time, but do not try every time this will just build up anxiety in her and you will never get anywhere because she knows what is coming and will think you are obsessed with this type of sex. If things go well with one finger then more on to two or try using a small sex toy, after a few minutes of this try moving on to actual anal intercourse. Make sure you use lots of lube on both you and her. You might want to try a couple of different positions doggie-style works well, but I seam to have trouble with the initial insertion in this position, try spooning where you both lying on your side and you snuggle up be hind her, or try having her on top some women like this because they can control how deep and fast things go. What ever position you try this is the easy part if you made it through to this point then you are home free. Just don’t try to JAM IT IN and pay attention to how your lady is reacting to this after all this is a much bigger deal and experience for the girl than it is for the man.