Silentsoul, your wife's reaction is not uncommon given the newness of your relationship together. Some may say your age has a lot to do with it, but I at the age of 32 felt as much like your wife does at this time. Please understand even though I feel you are too young to be seeking these sort of sexual adventures (and I am sure many others do too), my opinions are based more on the newness of your marriage.

When you take into consideration the rest of what you have revealed about your wife and her insecurities, it makes me think even more that you MUST concentrate soley on your marriage and put your desires on the back burner. She needs to know and by know I mean that YOU are the one who loves her no matter what and that you will always be there for her, not just some other fly-by-night flake. This may take several years. There are no two ways around it. For now it is best that you live out your fantasies in your mind and with toys. Concentrate on your marriage and bite the bullet. When you are both solidified in your marriage, only then would I bring up the fantasy again.

I wish the best for both of you.