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Old 05-21-2017, 03:23 AM
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dicksbro dicksbro is offline
Just me.
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: West central Illinois
Posts: 590,002
Why Teacher's Drink

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds) ?????***** *
*
Q. Name the four seasons
A.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
*
Q. How is dew formed
A.. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
*
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A.. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
*
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
*
Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs * (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)
*
Q... What happens to your body as you age
A.. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
*
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A.. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery * (So true)
*
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A.. Premature death
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Q. What is artificial insemination
A... When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
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Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A.. Keep it in the cow * (Simple, but brilliant)
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Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)
A.. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U * (wtf!)
*
Q. What is the fibula?
A.. A small lie
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Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A.. Nearby
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Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A.. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. * (That would work)
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Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A.. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
*
Q. What is a seizure?
A.. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
*
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.** (Irrefutable)
*
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight * (brilliant)
*
AND THE BEST IS LAST:::
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Q. What is a turbine?
A.. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head. Once a Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head. * (now we’re getting somewhere)
*
*
OMG!...... Our society is doomed!

Sent to me by my brother-in-law.
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