No, I'm a priest. I'm waiting for a minister and a rabbi to join me.

And actual question I was asked when I was helping staff a wildlife education display:

"Does that owl, have like, *feathers* ?"

I would loved to have had a snappy answer, but I couldn't, because I had to run behind the display, because you're not allowed to laugh in the public's face.

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.