A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat.
It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".
He spends the next two hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
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A blond man shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and
her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No", he shouts, "this is her husband!"

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A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to
swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another. A cop car pulls
him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road. * *The
cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"

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A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic.
His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"\He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
"Here boy!" he replies.

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A blond man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by
his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blond replies.
"It should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe".

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(This one actually makes sense...LOL) An Italian tourist asks a blonde
man: "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blonde man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still
be in the boat."*