I have the feeling my divorce is happening for the same reason. It is an essential thing to be an individual person, not a piece of chewing gum that adapts everything.
Ask yourself what YOU want and BE yourself. Defend what you are, have your own opinion. Shit on having peace with everyone. That is an illusion!!!
Be yourself, and you will see that you needn´t search for women, they will come to you!
I know that is a hard step to do, I have been all my life that kind of non-person. But this is what you need.
Think about it. 10 times, 100 times, 1000 times, a million. Until you change your life. I wish you more luck than I´m having now.

Stefan

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If every material thing is gone, my smile and my tears stay left.