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Lack of Negative Response a Pleasant Surprise
In Missoula, Bates and Hagen skipped from newsstand to newsstand on the Sunday morning that their notice appeared. They bought several copies. They called their friends.
In the weeks that followed, they got no nasty phone calls or letters. Instead, people recognized them from their picture in the paper and praised them as pioneers.
At the Missoulian, operators were waiting for a flood of phone calls that never came. A few people called on Sunday, but McInally characterized the callers as more disappointed than outraged. During the following week, he estimated, the paper received about a half-dozen calls.
"And that may be high," he said. There were no letters to the editor about the notice, either positive or negative.
Public Outcry Against Scare Tactics
Within three weeks, another issue involving a lesbian couple made big news in Missoula. Those women--one of them a University of Montana psychology professor--had their home destroyed by an arson fire shortly after they held a press conference to announce a suit against the university over health benefits for same-sex partners. The Missoulian put the women's photos on the front page.
The blaze, ignited during the middle of the night, rousted the couple and their 2-year-old son but did not injure them. It enraged many people in this liberal town and residents poured into a downtown church to show support. "Hate hurts" signs went up in windows of homes, businesses and cars.
And Bates and Hagen got scared, knowing they may have put themselves at risk by having their picture in the paper.
"We slept with a bat and a fire extinguisher next to our bed for months," Bates said.
Still, while the fire gave them a jolt, the two women got no angry letters or threats. If anything, they received even more praise.
Bates and Hagen are still cautious. Almost a year later, the arson fire has not been solved.
In June, they had a ceremony at a church in Missoula, with double rings and a live string trio. They each had a wedding dress--they share a story about the bridal shop clerk, who was convinced she hadn't heard right when both of them said they needed dresses. She repeatedly pulled out bridesmaid dresses for Hagen to look at.
They called their ceremony a wedding--not a commitment ceremony or a relationship ceremony--even if it wasn't recognized by the state. "I wanted to call it a wedding because for me that's what it was and that's what it is: a marriage," said Bates.
They considered sending a wedding picture to the Missoulian, but decided against it.
"I thought that really might be asking for trouble," Bates said. "And it's not trouble I want. It's equal rights, it's equal protection and equal recognition under the law. That's what I want, and not trouble."
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