Yeah, I was thinking I'd flown with that guy!!

Anyway, moving on…….

A guy is driving around Ayrshire and he sees a sign in front of a house that says Talking Dog For Sale.
He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back garden. The guy goes into the back garden and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.

"Is this the one that talks?" he asks. Breeder says "Aye."

Bloke kneels down in front of the pooch, starts to pat it and says "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the MI5 about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.

I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. So, as a reward they retired me, got me lovely Labrador bitch to share my kennel with. I had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just living the life of Reilly."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.


"Ten quid," the guy says.


"Ten quid? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"


"He's a fuckin' liar. He never did any of that shite."

__________________
The selfish, they're all standing in line
Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time
Me, I figure as each breath goes by
I only own my mind