I agree with 24x7's response.

Quite a number of years back, an ex-fiance decided to dump me on my ear 2 weeks before the wedding. I was devistated. But, I kept on doing what else. I didn't *want* a man in my life! I sort of had a woman, but that was self-limiting for a few reasons, including her 3 children. I really *appreciated* her, but I could not have been a live-in stepmother to her 3 children. I'd get along fine with them 1 at a time, 1 on 1 though.

Anyway, I kept up my friendships, kept up my political activity. Somewhere in here I gained a new friend who was a 100% gay man (Very rare, IMX. Most who say they are "gay" are actually bi). Anyway, I got to know him very well. He ended up being the one who helped me and allowed me to work through issues I had with men *and* gave me someone whose shoulder it was *safe* to cry over my first woman lover; a very special lady whom I will never forget. Anyway, I can keep remembering her without having her interfere with present relationships now.

There was one day that I had a BAD day at work. It was nothing in particular that anyone did to me, nor anything in particular that didn't work right. It's just one of a lot of little things just one after another. I got everything taken care of, and I HAD TO GET OUT OF THERE!!! I had to leave before I got "grabbed" to "fix" something else! It could all wait until the next day, or someone else could "fix" it. I couldn't walk to the Coke machine, I couldn't walk to the water fountain. I went to the coffee shop where a political meeting was held later. I could get a Pepsi there. Well, the place was full of teens! They were generally good kids, but I didn't have a lot in common with them. I HAD TO find something to read. Well, I found a personal's ad in the paper for someone wanting to trade sci fi books. I called the ad. I met him, had something to eat, went to a movie. The next date, traded some books. Then more later. Well, eventally I married him for the whole collection!

Moral of the story: I wasn't even *looking* for someone to date, to love, or to spend my life with. I found him anyway. I had to straighten out some of the old things in me first before I could really give him "my all".