A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant.
"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients".

"Yes, sir!" answers Murphy.

The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks:
"So,Murphy, how was your day?"

Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one
had a headache so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol."

"Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?" asks the doctor

"The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did
sir" says Murphy.

"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?"
asks the doctor.

"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young
gorgeous woman bursts in so she does. Like a bolt outta the blue, she
tears off her clothes, taking off everyting including her bra and her
panties and lies down on the table, and shouts:
'HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen
any man!'"

"Tunderin' lard Jesus, Murphy, what did you do?" asks the doctor.

"I put drops in her eyes."

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating