I thought these were cute.

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Murphy’s Sex Laws

1. There is no remedy for sex, except more sex.

2. Sex has no calories.

3. Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.

4. The more beautiful the woman who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.

5. Nothing improves with age.

6. No matter how many times you’ve had it, if it’s offered take it, because it’ll never be quite the same again.

7. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

8. No sex with anyone in the same office.

9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.

10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.

11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

12. Virginity can be cured.

13. When a man’s wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can’t stand years later.

16. Sex is dirty – only if it’s done right.

17. It is always the wrong time of month.

18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.

20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.

21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night – Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.

22. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.

23. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.

24. Before you find your handsome prince, you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs.

25. There may be some things better than sex and some things worse than sex. But there’s nothing exactly like sex.

26. Love your neighbour, but don’t get caught.

27. If the efforts that went into research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hotdog stands on the moon.

28. Love is a matter of Chemistry; sex is a matter of Physics.

29. Sex is a three letter word which needs some old-fashioned four letter words to convey its full meaning.

30. One good turn gets most of the blankets.

31. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

32. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

33. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

34. Thou shalt not commit adultery… unless in the mood.

35. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.

36. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn’t.

37. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.

38. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

39. A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he doesn’t love her.

40. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.

41. Beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes right to the bone.

42. Love comes in spurts.

43. The world does not revolve on an axis.

44. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.

45. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

46. Don’t do it if you can’t keep it up.

47. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool, when they fall in love.

48. Never go to bed angry, stay up and fight.

49. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.