An Amish farmer walking through his field
notices a man drinking from his pond, with
his hand.

The Amish man shouts: "Trinken Sie nicht
das Wasser, die Kuhe und die Schweine haben
in ihm geschissen!" (which means: "Don't drink
the water. The cows and pigs have pooped in it!)"

The man shouts back: "I am a Muslim. I don't
understand, nor do I care to understand your
gibberish. Speak English, Infidel!"

The Amish man shouts back in English:
"Use two hands, you'll get more!"

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.