Three tortoises, Mick, Alan and Les, decided to go on a picnic. So Mick packed the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches.



The trouble was the picnic site was ten miles away so it took them ten days to get there.



When they got there Mick unpacked the food and beer. 'Ok Les give me the bottle opener.'



'I didn't bring it,' said Les. 'I thought you packed it.'



Mick got worried; He turned to Alan, 'Did you bring the bottle opener??'



Naturally Alan didn't bring it. So they were stuck ten miles from home without a bottle opener.



Mick and Alan begged Les to go back for it, but he refused, saying they would eat all the sandwiches.



After two hours, and after they had sworn on their tortoise lives that they would not eat the sandwiches,

he finally agreed. So Les set off down the road at a steady pace.



Twenty days passed and he still wasn't back and Mick and Alan were starving, but a promise is a promise.



Another five days and he still wasn't back, but a promise is a promise.



Finally they couldn't take it any longer, so they took out a Sandwich each and just as they were about to eat it,


Les popped up from behind a rock and shouted........



















'I KNEW IT...I'M NOT FUCKING GOING!'

__________________
Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating