"Gee, honey, if I had known you were a virgin, I'd have taken more time..."
"Well, Howie, if I knew you had more time, I'd have taken my pantyhose off..."

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.