My dad got pulled over for running a red light. Cop asked him why he didn't stop. My dad had sneezed just as the light changed and he didn't see it. My dad also got pulled over for going to slow on a back road. The cop said that he was on his way to a call and needed to speed up. My dad then asked why didn't he just flash his blues and go around if he was on his way to call. On my motorcycle helmet I have a sticker that says "bad cop/no donut". My favorite answer is still "but ossifer I've only had one beer (holds up a magnum bottle) i can't be intoximicated."

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"BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Will he offer me his mouth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his teeth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his jaws? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Again, will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes! GIRL: Yes. BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Yes. BOY: I bet you say that to all the boys!" -Meatloaf