This is one for the Larry Niven SCI-FI fans.

It won't mean much to the others.

"How many Puppeteers does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"None. They hire Beowulf Shaeffer to do it. Lightbulbs can be dangerous"

"How many Trinoc does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"Why do you want to know about our maintenance schedules? Are you planning to attack us in the dark?"

"How many Kdatlyno does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"None. It sounds perfectly OK to them."

"How many tnuctip does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"Depends what you want them to change it into."

"How many Kzin does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"None. You can scream and leap in the dark."

"How many Carlos Wus does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"With an unlimited breeding licence, who needs lightbulbs?"

"How many Slavers does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"Dunno. How susceptible are lightbulbs to telepathy?"

"How many Grogs does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"One. Something with manipulatory appendages will be along eventually."

"How many bandersnatchii does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"Two. One to sit on your armoured hunting car, and one to explain what you'll have to do before it gets off again."

"How many Pak Protectors does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"Only one, but the lightbulb has to smell right."

"How many Ringworld Engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"Thirty. Hey, moving suns around isn't easy..."

"How many Outsiders does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"Personal questions cost one trillion stars."

"How many Teela Browns does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"Stupid question."


Some more Lightbulb Jokes by Matthew Joseph Harrington
Q) How many thrintun does it take to change a lightbulb?
A) CHANGE THE BULB. --None.

Q) How many tnuctipun does it take to change a lightbulb?
A) Technically, none. You just have to remember to feed the old one.

Q) How many kdatlyno does it take to change a lightbulb?
A) Why change this one? It sounds fine to me.

Q) How many Pak protectors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A) Hard to say. This one's too busy killing things with the old one.

Q) How many human protectors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A) I'm not changing it. I'm rigging it so when a Pak protector tries to change it it should kill thirty or forty of them.

__________________
Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating