A nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it.
When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller and without missing a beat, she says:
"Well, that's great....that's just great....some asshole's got my pen!"

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating