1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, Sauchiehall St , St Enoch, Auchtermuchty .

2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.

3. Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.

4. Ye canna pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.

5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.

6. Ye see people wearin shell suits with burberry accessories - pure class!

7. Ye measure distance in minutes.

8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters jist like him in yer ain family.

9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think its like gaun tae the ocean.

10. Ye kin mak hael sentences jist wi sweer wurds.

11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eatin it.

12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.

13. You've been at a wedding an fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel

14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips,irn-bru, fags
and nappies all in the wan shop.

15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.

16. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.

17.Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.

18. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals

19. Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these words;

how's it
hingin
clatty
boggin
cludgie
pished
get it up ye
wee beasties
erse
bandit
amurny
away an bile yer heid
peely-wally
humphey backit
Ba'-heid
baw bag
dubble nugget

And finally......

A wee Glesga wumman goes intae a butchershop, where the butcher has just came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his erse aimed at an electric fire. The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks,

'Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?'

'Naw,' replies the butcher. 'It's jist ma haun's ah'm heatin'.

__________________
The selfish, they're all standing in line
Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time
Me, I figure as each breath goes by
I only own my mind