Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?

A:"Gifted"

Q: What do you call a blonde with a whole brain?

A: A Golden Retriever Q: How do blonde brains cells die?

A: Alone.

Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?

A: Pregnant.

Q: What did the blonde say to the doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

A: Are you sure it's mine?

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?

A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink?

A: Because that's where you're suppose to wash vegetables.

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?

A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde in the car with you?

A: Cause then you can park in the handicap zones.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?

A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Q: Why shouldn't blondes be allowed to take coffee breaks?

A: It takes to long to retrain them.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?

A: There's white-out on the screen.

Q: How can you tell if a second blonde has used the same computer?

A: There's writing on the white-out.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?

A: You only have to put information into a computer once.

Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?

A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get the shopping channel.

Q: Why don't blondes eat Jell-O?

A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water in those little boxes.

Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?

A: Because they can't get their heads in the jar.

Q: Why do blondes drive BMW's?

A: Because they can spell it Q: Why do blondes right T.G.I.F. on their shoes?

A: To help them remember T.oes G.o I.n F.irst.

Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on each side of her?

A: An interpreter.

Q: What do you call a brunette between two blondes?

A: A mental block.

Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?

A: Blow in her ear.

Q: What's the first thing that a blonde does in the morning?

A: Introduces herself.

Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?

A: Thanks for the refill!

Q: What is is called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?

A: Data Transfer.

Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress while reading her name tag?

A: "Debbie"...that's cute. What did you name the other one?"

Q: Why do blondes have more fun?

A: They are easier to keep amuzed.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One. She just holds the light bulb and the world revolves around her!

Q: Why did the blonde want to become a Veterinarian?

A: Because she loved children.....

Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver?

A: She missed the earth.

Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?

A: She slipped off the sink and broke her ankle.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde that dropped out of nursing school?

A: She was doing great until she found out she would have to perform the Hymenlick Maneuver.

Q: Why did the blonde stare intently on the carton of orange juice?

A: It said "concentrate".

Q: What do they call four blondes in a Volkswagon?

A: Far-from-thinkin'.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?

A: Because on the box it said "From 2 to 4 years".

Q: How many blondes does it tak to play hide and seek?

A: Just one, and she's STILL trying to find herself!

Q: What do you call the skeleton in the closet?

A: Last year's hide and seek champion.

Q: Why don't blondes like making Kool-Aid?

A: Because they can't figure out how to get 8 cups of water and a cup of sugar in those little packets..

Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?

A: The vegetable garden.

Q: How do you give a blonde a brain transplant?

A: Blow in her ear.

Q: why did the blonde fail her driver's license exam?

A: She wasn't used to the front seat.

Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?

A: ....I'll tell you tomorrow.

Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?

A: Two. One to stand in the bath tub of water and the other to plug in and pass her the blow dryer.

Q: What do you call a blonde wearing a leather jacket and riding on a motorcycle?

A: Rebel without a clue.

Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number "Eleven"?

A: She didn't know which of the one's came first.

Q: What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a swimming pool?

A: Air pockets.

Q: What can strike a blonde without them ever knowing it?

A: A thought.

Q: Why do blondes hate M & M's?

A: They're too hard to peel.

Q: What's brown and red....and black and blue all over?

A: A beat up brunette that told one too many blonde jokes.

Q: What does Dr. "Bones" McCoy say just before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?

A: SPACE....The final frontier.

Q: A blonde and a brunette jump off a tall building, who hit the ground first?

A: The brunette, the blonde stopped to ask for directions.

Q: Why are blondes hurt by some people's words?

A: Because these people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease?

A: Her IQ goes up.

Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?

A: They both eventually end up in the gutter.

Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?

A: So men and brunettes can understand them too.

Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?

A: "Frosted Flakes"

Q: What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?

A: Bigfoot has actually been seen.

Q: What did the blonde say when she was asked if she'd ever been picked up by the fuzz?

A: "No, but I've been pulled aroung by my ponytail."

Q: What do blondes and cow "patties" have in common.

A: They both get easier to pick up with age.

Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?

A: She fell out of the tree.

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?

A: She threw it off a cliff.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in just 6 months?

A: Because on the box it read:"From 2 to 4 years."

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?

A: Tell her a joke on Friday nights.

Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of cheerios?

A: "Oh looky!!! Donut seeds!!!!!"

Q: How does a blonde discribe in words how it feels being surrounded by a bunch of drooling idiots?

A: "Flattered."

Q: Why do blondes drive VW's?

A: Because they can't spell Porsche.

Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a briefcase?

A: A "Branch" Manager.

Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?

A: They are both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why did God create blondes?

A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.

Q: Why did God create brunettes?

A: Turns out....neither could the blondes.

Q: What is the blondes "cheer"?

A: "I'm a blonde, I'm a blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....uh...oh well....

I'm a blonde, I'm a blonde, yea..yea...yea!"

Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?

A: Change.

Q: How do you drown a blonde?

A: Put a scratch and sniff sticker and the bottom of the pool.

Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?

A: "SPOT."

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair in ponytails?

A: To hide the air valve stems.

Q: What do you call you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?

A: Space invader.

Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's disposable diaper once every month?

A: Because it says right on the package: "good for up to 20 pounds."

Q: How does a blonde High-five?

A: She smacks herself on the forehead.

Q: How do you amuze a blonde for hours?

A: Just write, "Place this side down" on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q: What's a blonde's favorite Rock Group?

A: Air Supply.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde with P.M.S. and a terrorist?

A: You can negotiate with the terrorist.

Q: Why do blondes die before help arrives?

A: They always forget the "1-1" when they dial "9-1-1".

Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eye?

A: The back of her head.

Q: How can you tell when a blonde is wearing panty hose?

A: When she passes gas, she blows her shoes off.

Q: What's the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?

A: Marriage.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?

A: You Don't. They're born that way.

Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?

A: The cow fell on her.

Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?

A: Bobbing for french fries.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde write mysteries?

A: She has a checkbook.

Q: How does a blonde balance her check book?

A: On the end of one finger, but on her nose if she's really good at it.

Q: How can you tell when a FAX has been sent by a blonde?

A: There's a stamp on it.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?

A: She can get the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.

Q: What is five miles long, makes a whining noise and has an IQ of 40?

A: Blondes on Parade.

Q: To a blonde what is it that is long and hard?

A: The fourth grade.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a Pitbull?

A: Lipstick.

Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?

A: Because she didn't eat red meat anyway.

Q: Why did the blonde tip toe past the medicine closet?

A: She didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.

Q: What did the blonde do when she learned that 90% of all accidents happen around the home?

A: She moved.

Q: Why do blondes like lightening?

A: It makes them think someone is taking their picture.

Q: Why do men like blonde jokes so much?

A: Because they can understand them.

Q: Why is a blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?

A: It swells at night.

Q: Why don't they hire blonde pharmacists?

A: She kept breaking the pill bottles trying to get them into the typewriter.

Q: What is the definition of GROSS IGNORANCE?

A: 144 Blondes.

Q: What are the worse five years in a blonde's life?

A: sixth grade.

Q: Why was the front of the blondes clothes always so filthy?

A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "Don't Walk."

Q: How did the blonde get 36 holes in her face?

A: Trying to learn to eat with a fork.

Q: Why did President Bush want to send an army of blondes with P.M.S. over to Iraq?

A: They're irritated enough to kill and they retain water.

Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?

A: Because their ovens don't go to 700 degrees.

Q: Why do blondes have a hard time dialing 911 in an emergency?

A: They can't find the number 11 on the phone.



KEEP GOING.....LOT'S MORE BLONDE JOKES!!!



Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?

A: Reservations.

Q: What do you call four blondes lying side by side on the ground?

A: An air mattress.

Q: What do they call an unmarried blonde in a BMW?

A: Divorcee' Q: What does a blonde owl say?

A: "What? What?"

Q: Why did the blonde climb over the chain link fence?

A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in the backseat of her car?

A: In case she locks her keys in the car.

Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at the local University sports events?

A: Too many blondes were drowning.

Q: What do you call an unmarried blonde in a Rolls Royce.

A: Widow of that Old Rich guy.

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?

A: You find M & M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?

A: Give her a bag of m & m's and have her alphabetize them.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde that shot an arrow in the air?

A: She missed.

Q: Why did the blonde cross the road.

A: I don't know, and neither did she.

Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?

A: To show the chicken how it was done.

Q: What job title does a blonde have in an M & M factory?

A: "Proofreader."

Q: Why did they fire the blonde from the M & M factory?

A: She kept throwing away all the "W's"

Q: Why did the blonde steal the police car?

A: She saw 911 on it and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart?

A: The shopping cart has a mind of its own.

Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind the steering wheel?

A: An Air Bag.

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?

A: "It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on It's off..."

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?

A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: What goes: VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH?

A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?

A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck in the trap.

Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for blondes?

A: Perri-air.

Q: How can you tell when there's a blonde working in the office?

A: There's a bed in the stockroom and all the bosses are smiling!

Q: What do you call a blonde in an institute of higher learning?

A: A visitor.

Q: How do you measure a blonde's IQ?

A: Stick a tire pressure guage in her ear.

Q: Why can't blondes put light bulbs in?

A: They keep breaking them with the hammer.

__________________
Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating