A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Walmart with her two kids,
yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The Walmart greeter said pleasantly, "Good morning, and welcome to Walmart. Nice children
you have there. Are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no, they ain't. The oldest one's 9
and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just
plain stupid?''

"I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am," replied the greeter. "I just couldn't believe you got
laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Walmart."

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DAMN, YOU ARE A SEXY ONE-skipthisone

I beleive in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I beleive in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. Kevin Costner/Bull Duram

"Your body as well as mine has needs. This is juat a little foreplay to highten our desire for each other. If we play out the game of love to it's natural conclusion, you'll experience fulfillment. Give yourself up to me and I'll guide you along the path to pareadise. Together we will be like fire and ice, love and hate, life and death." Virginia Henley

WANTED: a moment when you kiss someone and eveything around you becomes hazy. And the only thing in focus is you and this person and you relize that he is the only person your suppose to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this amazing gift. You want to laugh and you want to cry. Cause you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared it will all go away at the same time.