MOUNTAIN MEDICINE

A Tennessee mountain woman went to the doctor and was told to go home and come back in a couple of days with a specimen.

When she got home she asked her husband, "What is a specimen?"

He replied, "Danged if I know. Go next door and ask Janet. She's a nurse"

The woman went next door and came back in about twenty minutes with her clothes all torn and with multiple cuts and bruises on her face and body.

"What in the world happened?" asked her husband.

"Danged if I know," she replies. "I asked Janet what a specimen was and she told me to go piss in a bottle.

I told her to go fart in a jug and then all hell broke loose."

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It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus