This is an old one and it hurts me to write it but.................

Message on the PA system in a Chicago area mall:

"Would the lady who left her nine children at Wrigley Field please return ASAP to pick them up!

They're beating the Cubs 15-0 in the 5th inning."

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It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus