Buzzed what little hair I have left on my head down to as short as it's ever been. Oh yeah, I'm looking dead sexy today.

Get to spend the day with my best friend's entire family today and I can't wait to see all the kids. They love their Uncle IowaMan.

No sightings of rabbits putting eggs in the lawn yet. I've been hiding out back in the lilac bush with a shotgun for the past couple of hours.

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It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus