Defense Attorney: "Will you please state your age?"
Little Old Lady: "I am 86 years old."
Defense Attorney: "Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened
the night of April 1st?"
Little Old Lady: "There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front
porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man came creeping up on the
porch and sat down beside me."
Defense Attorney: "Did you know him?"
Little Old Lady: "No, but he sure was friendly."
Defense Attorney: "What happened after he sat down?"
Little Old Lady: "He started to rub my thigh."
Defense Attorney: "Did you stop him?"
Little Old Lady: "No, I didn't stop him."
Defense Attorney: "Why not?"
Little Old Lady: "It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner died
some 30 years ago."
Defense Attorney: "What happened next?"
Little Old Lady: "He began to rub my breasts."
Defense Attorney: "Did you stop him then?"
Little Old Lady: "No, I did not stop him."
Defense Attorney: "Why not?"
Little Old Lady: "His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I
haven't felt that good in years!"
Defense Attorney: "What happened next?"
Little Old Lady: "Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just
laid down and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me!'"
Defense Attorney: "Did he take you?"
Little Old Lady: "No! He just yelled, 'April Fool!' And that's when I
shot him, the little bastard!"

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“Sex is one of the most personal things we do as people. To have someone who says she loves you limit how you express yourself in the bedroom is like a small death. It kills the soul.” --Anita Blake to Jason Schuyler in "Blood Noir" by Laurell K. Hamilton