Irish thanks for your words .... I long ago came to terms with the alcoholism and along the way have learned some really incredible lessons .... it doesn't make sense, but I'm more innocent, trusting and giving and so many other "good" things in my 40's then I ever could have been in my 20's - that is because I had to come to terms with my personal demons and make a concsious choice of who and how I want to be because of or inspite of my personal life history.

I had a friend once tell me they never could have survived (mentally) with all I had gone through .... that amazed me ... we all go through what we go through .... my life has never seemed all that difficult in the living of it - still doesn't - I know of and have read here of so many more difficult situations, at least in my viewpoint.....but it is an interesting thing that, at least it seems to me, we are given a way to learn what we need to in order to get through our own struggles and much of that comes from the people who touch our lives. Many Pixies people have become that for me. Thanks everyone!!!!