In a former life, I recorded voiceovers for radio commercials.
If I can fit...
"Headache, fatigue, dry mouth, thirst, dry nose or hoarseness may occur. These effects should lessen as your body adjusts to the medication. If any of these effects persist or worsen, notify your doctor or pharmacist promptly.
Tell your doctor immediately if any of these unlikely but serious side effects occur: nervousness, rapid or pounding heartbeat, unusual weakness, stomach pain, dizziness, diarrhea, wheezing, increased physical activity.
***** does not usually cause drowsiness when used at recommended doses and under normal circumstances. However, be sure of the drug's effects before engaging in activities that require alertness such as driving or using machinery.
A serious allergic reaction to this drug is unlikely, but seek immediate medical attention if it occurs. Symptoms of a serious allergic reaction include: rash, itching, swelling, severe dizziness, trouble breathing.
If you notice other effects not listed above, contact your doctor or pharmacist."
...at the end of a 30 second radio commercial for asthma medicine, well, surely someone can fit "This product does not protect you from any contractible disease associated with unprotected sex other than that for which it was specifically designed.".
And if they can't...call me and I'll do it! I'm looking for the $$.
