Just had this sent to me.

It's too true.

Contemporary Wisdom
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Every teenager should get a high school education.
Even if they already know everything.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction.
I get to the end and think, "Well, that's not going to happen."
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Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
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The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant.
Every table had an argument going.
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Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days
No one talks about seeing UFOs like they use to.
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Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
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All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.
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Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars
and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?
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I'm not 40-something. I'm $39.95, plus shipping and handling.
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In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
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Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession.
I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire,
but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
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Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment,
and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner."
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You read about all these terrorists, most of them came here legally, but
they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-12 years.
Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and
those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of
immigration.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating