I know I love her as a friend, I've known that for a while now. I've told her how I feel and she basically told me that she doesn't feel the same. She said she loves me as a friend but for now, she wants to keep it that way. However, that's only because of James. She's not very good at describing how she feels because she can't explain how she feels about James or me.

As far as using someone else to get laid idea, that's difficult. I don't feel that I have the looks, carisma, or the self confidence to be able to pick up a girl in a club or bar. Not to mention bars and clubs are a big no-no with being in recovery. First of all, I don't know where to go to pick up a girl for a one night stand. Second, I don't even have a clue as to what to say. Third, I'm not totally comfortable having a one night stand. So unless there's a horny little pixie within driving distance of me, I don't think that's a possibility.

I'm kinda afraid that she's just playing me. I'm very gullable and not talented at all at seeing through women's b.s. She knows everything about how I feel and yet she's unwilling/unable to tell/describe how she feels about me. Until James is out of the picture, we're all but stuck being just friends. I'm not comfortable having her cheat on James in any way but my trousers were doing the talking last week when we had the idea of partial benefits. The way I see it, if she's willing to cheat (or partially cheat) on James, what's keeping her from doing the same to me. I don't want that.

Anyway, thanks for your input. Anyone else care to jump in on this?

__________________
words I live by;

POW/MIAs - No Will Never Be Forgotten

Karma can be a bitch, so don't make her mad!

Politeness counts.

The definition of a gentleman/lady is someone who does all the he/she can do to make the people around them as happy and comfortable as possible

Life's a bitch but it's all gotta be for something. If you keep faith in that, everything will be okay.

Every once in a great while, you just gotta kick a little ass!