The last one made me laugh!!!!

DR. PHIL:
>
>The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he
>must
>first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes
>
>after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do
>is
>help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT"
>
>problems before adding "NEW" problems.
>
>
>
>OPRAH:
>
>Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
>
>wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
>learn
>from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going
>to
>give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
>not
>live his life like the rest of th e chickens.
>
>
>
>GEORGE W. BUSH:
>
>We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
>
>know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
>
>either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
>
>
>
>DONALD RUMSFELD:
>
>Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
>of
>the chicken crossing the road.
>
>
>
>ANDERSON COOPER/CNN:
>
>We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
>
>allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
>
>
>
>JOHN KERRY:
>
>Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against
>it!
>It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
>
>intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.
>
>
>
>JUDGE JUDY:
>
>That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in
>his
>eyes and the way he walks.
>
>
>
>PAT BUCHANAN:
>
>To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
>
>
>
>MARTHA STEWART:
>
>No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
>
>standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
>
>dropped to a certain level.
>
>
>
>DR SEUSS:
>
>Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
>
>chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
>
>
>
>ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
>
>To die in the rain. Alone.
>
>
>
>JERRY FALWELL:
>
>Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in
>
>front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's
>why
>they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.
>And
>if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all
>
>chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
>
>whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
>That
>chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple
>as
>that!
>
>
>
>GRANDPA:
>
>In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
>told
>us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
>
>
>
>BARBARA WALTERS:
>
>Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
>
>chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
>
>experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
>life
>long dream of crossing the road.
>
>
>
>JOHN LENNON:
>
>Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in
>peace.
>
>
>ARISTOTLE:
>
>It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>
>
>
>BILL GATES:
>
>I have just released eChicken2006, which will not only cross roads,
>but
>will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
>
>book. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The Platform
>is
>much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \..... reboot.
>
>
>
>ALBERT EINSTEIN:
>
>Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath
>the
>chicken?
>
>
>
>BILL CLINTON:
>
>I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
>
>chicken?
>
>
>
>AL GORE:
>
>I invented the chicken!
>
>
>
>COLONEL SANDERS:
>
>"Did I miss one?!!!"
>
>