I don't think I'll ever believe it wasn't my fault. I did the only thing I could thing of that would help with the pain, I got a memorial tattoo done by my Uncle. It helped a bit with the pain, but the guilt's still there. And since I have severe depression on top of that, it's making it hard to get over the guilt. And I won't let him help, it's my fault it happened, and no matter how he feels about it, I won't let him do that. He's already been through enough, and besides, I dont know how he feels about it. Just that he was sorry I had to go through it alone. -shrugs- I don't know, I'm still so confused about it, and no one's been able to help... and to be honest, I feel like I'm drowning, even though my self-imposed exile of a month with my family up north was supposed to help, it only pushed it to the side I think. -sighs- I just don't know what to do.