so far - from what i can tell, anyway....
it's the unknown.
it’s the random, breath-snatching start and the casual, breath-catching stop.
it’s that he might flick that switch.
or not.
it’s the hesitation and the begging.
it’s the one that goes on too long or stops not long enough.
it’s the
oh! the
yes! the
fuck!
the
please. the
please don’t. the
please don’t stop.
it’s that it’s all up to him.
it's the surprise and it’s the involuntary thrust of my hips.
it’s that when it flicks on, it’s a reward and when it flicks off, it’s an end to torment that i can not wait to endure again.
it’s the sheet-tangling squirm of anticipation for it to begin or end or die.
it’s that i’m all alone in the middle of a huge bed, at his mercy, knowing he’s watching and calculating.
it makes me feel greedy and grateful all at once. i like it.
who knows if we’ll ever use it in public. i said in another thread that it’s not as quiet as i thought. i’m sure that’s important to some, but I’ve decided it doesn’t matter so much anymore. the switch is quiet though, and that does.