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A virile, middle aged Italian gentlemen named Guido was relaxing at
his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular
young blonde woman.
Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to
his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom
where he rattled her senseless.
After a pleasant interlude he asked with a
smile, "So, you finish?"
She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No."
Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed.
This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion.
The sex finally ends and, again, Guido smiles and asks, "You finish?"
Again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him
and
softly says, "No."
Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied,
Guido reaches for the woman yet again.
Using the last of his strength, he barely manages it, but they end
together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets.
Exhausted, Guido falls onto his back, gasping.
Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly and
asked again, "You finish?"
Barely able to speak, the beautiful blonde whispers
in his ear, "No, I Norwegian."
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Here is a little joke to make you smile today!!
A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic
garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the
bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the
pavement.
Noticing this, a policeman stops her...."Ma'am, there are $20 bills
falling out of that bag."
"Damn!" says the little old lady....."I'd better go back and see if I can
still find them. Thanks for the warning!"
"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money?
Did you steal it
"Oh, no", says the little old lady. "You see, my back yard backs up to
the parking lot of the football stadium. Each time there's a game a lot
of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds! So, I go
and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time
someone sticks his little winkie through the bushes, I say, $20 or o ff it
comes!"
"Hey, not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. "OK, good luck! By the way, what's
in the other bag?"
"Well", says the little old lady, "Some of them don't believe me".
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A young lady, goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of live frogs. The sign says: "Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Money Back Guarantee! Comes with complete instructions."
The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one." The man packages the frog
and says, "Just follow the instructions." The girl nods,
grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.
As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she reads the instructions very carefully.
She does exactly what is specified:
1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you and allow the frog to f ollow its training.
She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise, nothing happens! The girl is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store."
So, the lady calls the pet store. The man says, "I'll be right over." Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The lady welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn
thing just sits there."
The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says:
"Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!"
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