07-20-2006, 04:05 AM
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Awesome on my Own
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Schoolhouse Rocks!
Posts: 4,366
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Two friends breaking up is hard to do
**Just to let you know right away, that Mayhem and I are NOT breaking up. We are just fine, and I get to see him in less than a week.**
I just got some bad news about 2 good friends of mine. After 8 years of being a couple and about 7 of them living together, he has told her that he doesn't love her anymore and that there is no "fixing it". They are unwed and childless, and except for the occational verbal stab, the relationship was non-violent.
She has been saying for the past year that he was going to break up, but since they had always worked things out before, I didn't really think that it would come to a real break-up. He was the one to finally say that I am done, and from what she told me, he's been thinking about this for several weeks and talking it over with his grandmother. So he has had time to deal with his side of his emotions of breaking up. She is just now dealing with the grief and pain.
Now this is where I come in...I am friends with both, and I don't want to choose sides. She needs more emotional support right now, and I am fully willing to be the one to help her through it. I hate that my friends are hurting, and the peace-maker in me wants to try to mend this broken relationship, but I know (with my brain) that it isn't my job, or what either of them needs. (my heart, on the other hand, argues differently)
These two people are good people on their own rights, and they both are part of my "extended family". I truely love both of them, and the thought of trying to pick between them is like asking me to pick one of my own children to be my favorite. They have helped me through some rough spots in my life.
How do I remain friends with both? How do I stay neutral yet supportive? How do I best approach this situation? How do i not become meddlesome? Anyone with any experience like this?
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