Australian computer lingo


A bit of Aussie culcha

LOG ON: Adding wood to make the Barbie hotter.

LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the Barbie.

MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the Barbie.

DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the Ute.

HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any
cold tinnies.

KEYBOARD: Where you hang the Ute keys.

WINDOW: What you shut when the weather's cold.

SCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie season.

BYTE: What mozzies do.

MEGABYTE: What Townsville mozzies do.

CHIP: A bar snack.

MICROCHIP: What's left in the bag after you've eaten
the chips.

MODEM: What you did to the lawns.

LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps.

SOFTWARE: Plastic knives & forks you get at Red
Rooster.

HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives & forks - from
K-Mart.

MOUSE: The small rodent that eats the grain in the
shed.

MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up.

WEB: What spiders make.

WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the verandah.

SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the Ute won't go.

CURSOR: What you say when the Ute won't go.

YAHOO: What you say when the Ute does go.

UPGRADE: A steep hill.

SERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the
counter lunch.

MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the
counter lunch.

USER: The neighbour who keep's borrowing things.

NETWORK: What you do when you need to repair the
fishing net.

INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go.

NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover the
hole in the net.

ONLINE: Where you hang the washing.

OFFLINE: Where the washing ends up when the pegs
aren't strong enough.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating