My experience on lap dances....

Generally they are the don't touch kind. Keep your hands to at yourside. The dancer rubs her parts (usually breasts) on you and your upper torse. Maybe does some grinding. All things considered, lap dances at the respectable clubs are expensive and not much happens. The big thing I think is that a guy gets an absolute babe one on one for a few minutes.

As for the less respectable places. To put it bluntly, you can touch the dancers anywhere but usually "don't put your fingers inside". And if they let you go that far....then there is really no limit as long as you have the cash.

However, not sure I answered the question.