Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked
beans. She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very
embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.

Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When it became
apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet
and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on."

She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months
later her car broke down on the way home from work.

Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told
him that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way, she
passed a s mall diner and the or of the baked beans was more than she could
stand.

Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would
walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home.
So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had
consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she
felt reasonably sure she could control it.
Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed
delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight."

He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table.
She seated

herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from
his wife, the telephone rang.

He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he
returned. He then went to answer the telephone.

The&bsp;baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and
the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of
the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let
it go.

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck
running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill.

She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously.

Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more,
which reminded her of cooked cabbage.

Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room,
she went on like this for another ten minutes.

When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom,
she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and
folded her hands upon it, smi ling contentedly to herself.

She was the picture of innocence whn er husband returned,
apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him
that she had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was
surprised!!!

There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish
her a "Happy Birthday"!!!