it's true, the biggest thing you have holding you back is yourself, of course alot of people are like that

all the excuses and complaints in the world won't help you move on, at some point you'll either crush yourself under your self pity or you'll realize that you can beat it and over come it ... really it's just the way it is in the long run

now I'm not trying to get on your case for how you act, too each there own, even I went though the same thing and thats just what I learned at the end, Control your fate or be consumed by it, no if's and's or but's, they'll be a point in your life where you'll choose, theres no way to force it to come sooner , but it will come in time

__________________
You ask me if I've known love and what it's like to sing songs in the rain?
Well I've seen love come, I've seen shot down, I've it die in vain

Maybe someday I'll see you again, and you'll look me in my eyes and call me a friend.