You know I was thinking. Trying to step outside of it all and think. I dont really know why I have been going on and on about it all. I mean the only way I can think of it is that i am just insecure about my appearance. I really think that is why i go through all of this. To somehow hide it all with layer and layer of complaining etc. It isnt that I am insecure about myself (except my appearance) but i just think that because of that a woman will just cut me off without getting to know me.