A businessman was getting ready to go on a long
>
>
>
> business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort
>
> with an extremely healthy sex drive, so he thought he'd
>
> better buy her a little something to keep her occupied
>
> while he was gone.
>
>
>
> He went to a store that sold sex toys and started
>
> looking around for something special to please his wife
>
> and began talking to the old man behind the counter.
>
>
>
> He explained his situation. The old man said, "Well,
>
> we have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on,
>
> but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for
>weeks,
>
> "except," and he stopped.
>
>
>
>
>
> "Except what?" the man asked.
>
>
>
>
>
> "Nothing, nothing."
>
>
>
>
>
> "C'mon, plese tell me! I need something!"
>
>
>
>
>
> "Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there
>
> is the Voodoo Penis."
>
>
>
>
>
> "So what's up with this Voodoo Penis?" he asked.
>
>
>
>
>
> The old man reached under the counter and pulled out
>
> a very old wooden box, carved with strange symbols
>
> and erotic images. He opened it and there lay an
>
> ordinary looking dildo.
>
>
>
> The businessman laughed and said, "Big damn deal. It
>
> looks like every other dildo in this shop!"
>
>
>
> The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."
>
> He pointed to a door and said, "Voodoo Penis, the door."
>
>
>
> The Voodoo Penis miraculously rose out of its box, darted
>
> over to the door and started pounding the keyhole.
>
> The whole door shook wildly with the vibrations, so much so
>
> that a crack began to form down the middle.
>
>
>
> Before the door split, the old man said, "Voodoo Penis, return
>
> to box!" The Voodoo Penis stopped, levitated back to the box
>
> and lay there quiet once more.
>
>
>
> "I'll take it!" said the businessman.
>
>
>
> The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special
>dildo
>
> and that to use it all she had to do was say 'Voodoo Penis, my
>crotch'.
>
>
>
> After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny
>and
>
> remembered the Voodoo Penis. She undressed, opened the box and
>said,
>
> "Voodoo Penis, my crotch!"
>
>
>
> The Voodoo Penis shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was
>absolutely
>
> incredible, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.
>
>
>
> After three mind-shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted
>and
>
> decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was
>stuck in her,
>
> still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it but, but nothing
>worked. Her husband
>
> had forgotten to tell her how to shut it off.
>
>
>
> Worried, she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could
>help.She put her
>
> clothes on, got in the car and started to drive, quivering with
>every thrust of the dildo.
>
> On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve
>all over the road.
>
>
>
> A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He
>asked for her license
>
> and then asked how much she'd had to drink. Gasping and
>twitching, she explained,
>
> "I haven't had anything to drink, officer. You see, I've got
>this Voodoo Penis thing stuck
>
> in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me!"
>
>
>
> The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and in
>an arrogant voice replied,
>
> "Yeah, right..... Voodoo Penis, my ass!"
>
>
>
> The rest is history