Hm, really tough one. Jenna might be on the only right track, which means...well, life really sucks until you can deal with it. Thing is, I have delt with this issue by basically being poly...but this sort of lifestyle isn't for every one. And it certainly doesn't hurt any less when someone does do something to you that can be read as a relationship-ending betrayal. But it does usually mean there's a shoulder to cry on when it happens.

(I know I'm going to get asked, so...) Yes, for the record, my wife is also poly. We talk to each other, we deal. We've both had other people hurt us, and I think the fact that we can bitch to each other about it not only helps the immediate reaction and outlook, but helps our relationship.

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.