What is cheating?
 

My bf of several months and I have a very healthy, sexual relationship. We've talked about doing numerous things (threesomes, bondage, swapping, etc) to add even more excitement. One of his fantasies is to be tied up and watching another man have sex with me. I don't mind this but, he also says he doesn't mind if I have these little 'adventures' when he's not here, as long as I'm honest, and tell him about it. I know that I'm not as willing to allow him the same freedom so, and I also kind of consider this 'cheating'. Am I wrong? What are your thoughts?

Cheating is when you exceed the parameters that have been established in your relationship. You should never do something that would make you uncomfortable........unless you like uncomfortable (saw the bondage pics ;) )

lol...it's a bit uncomfortable...but nothing I can't handle ;)

I agree with Lilith. Its all about communication in a relationship. If one says ok and the other says no, then the answer is no. I learned that the hard way and may or may not have lost 2 precious children *sigh*

Cheating is when you have a couple Aces up your sleeve. ;) :D

Most likely, FlGrl, he is being completely honest.

For some the idea of seeing someone have sex with their significant other is a major turn on. In my opinion, he is probably wanting you to be much more expressive sexually.

What I mean by that is that he might get off on the idea of knowing that any day of the week he could come home and you be in the throes of orgasm, screaming at the top of your lungs from this total stranger fucking the hell out of you.

He could also be going in the direction of wanting you to just be totally gang banged by a bunch of strangers.

Either way, your man is telling you that he wouldn't mind you doing things with other guys. My suggestion is to tell him that you did have one of these escapades. If he asks for details, which he probably will, try to read his body language and kinda let him tell the story by telling him what you think he wanted. Obviously don't go too extreme and just try to lie really well.

What this does is it allows you to really tell how he would react. That way if the worst occurs and he's horribly upset, tell him the truth. Tell him you weren't really sure about what you should do so you made up a total lie to find out. Lieing's not as bad as cheating. And if he responds positively then you really get to see whats going on inside his head.

Trust me, get a man horny and he'll tell you anything you want to know.

I like Silent Soul's answer... but instead of making up the story of having an affair..... tell your BF about one of your earlier Expirences either with another man or with him but don't mention any names.... that way you don't have to lie to him at all... and get the reaction you want..... and see waht happens then..

E

Hey everyone, it's been a while since I've been here, got a new cam so I hope to have some pics soon. Thought I'd give you an update on the situation that started this thread. I did end up going over to a guys house that I had met on the internet. Turned out he lived at the opposite end of the same street as me so no big deal. Wore a short little skirt and low cut blouse, some high heel sandals, looked cute .... of course ;) ... and he ended up bending me over, pulling the panties to the side and just fucking me for about....3 mins. (he finished, I didn't) anyway, I came home and felt horrible about it. TOld the bf and he got soooo turned on by it. After much talk, and other things...we decided that it wasn't worth going through the feelings of guilt, that there were pleanty of other ways for me to excite him. Since then, we've had a few 3some, 4somes and moresomes and he's watched me have fun with other men(usually sitting on the couch eating popcorn) Unfortunatly, or fortunatly, I tend to enjoy spending those times with other women rather than other men. But I have to admit, going down on one man while my bf did me from behind was pretty damn incredible...hmmm....anyone local in Jax? (evil laugh) Thanks for all your advice...I appreciate it!

Cheating covers a very large area. To some couples, reading porn or erotica and masturbating is considered cheating.

As long as you and S/O agree on what cheating is, don't worry about what anyone thinks!!!!!!!!!!