How many woman have sex when not aroused?
 

From another forum I am in- we were discussing "extreme" feminist quotes. Along the discussion I was told that any long term relationship at some point will have the partner allowing the other sex, even if they are not in the mood.. I asked did that mean vaginal, even though its understood that a unlubricated entrance can be painful, quote "precum makes a good lubrication". Thus implying that indeed this woman was unaroused.

It has frankly aggravated me. But, since she is right in that I have never been in a long term sexual (or regular :( ) relationship. She knows somethings I don't. Though I still feel angry that it is assumed that this will happen.

Oh and no, she wasn't a extreme femenist, she was quite the opposite. It was in relation to a quote about husbands raping their wifes if sex is had without the womans intiative (which I agreed with).

Is this true for all relationships?

well.... my first b/f and I had the dry sex and I was whupped enough not to say anything for over a year, he would fuck me until I bled then accuse me of letting him fuck me while I was "unclean" (IE on my period).

thats why I got so good at sucking dick... to aviod sex.

Kyttn

i have before, and it was very painful. definately not a good idea. what happened though is kind of the whole impotent deal with guys. I did want it, was into it(atleast i thought i was), but the body was not responding. next time something like this happens, i'll definately stop it

I'm a bit indulgent when it comes to sex... I'll do anything for my partner...

I don't think she meant it was painful (this woman) but she did imply she wasn't really into it. What you have described above makes me feel quite sad inside that another person would be so introverted in their own need that they cannot see their partner is in pain. I think men like this actually are a disgrace to not only other men, but humanity.

Again though I am not referring to pain, but no real arousal (maybe lubrication used?). Just doing it for your partners benefit.

My wife has thrown me a courtesy fuck now and then when she is not really in “the mood”. But it is nothing like I snap my fingers and say “bend over bitch”. If she doesn’t want to fool around we don’t. But sometimes she senses my need and gives me a little when she would prefer not to. However this has gone both ways, I have not felt up it a couple of times, and still put out because she needed me. I think a little give and take is just part of a normal relationship. I mean it’s not like anyone is physically forcing the other do something they don’t want to. Physical rape is wrong in ANY case. NO means NO.

What hitachi said! No one owes sex to another, but lovers sometime accomadate each other.

In my last relationship I had a lot of sex like that......I lost all sex drive and really didn't want anything to do with sex at all.

I felt very guilty about this as when my fiancee and I first got together I was a complete nympho (in fact I had to curb a lot of my dirtier preferences because he was so straight - something I believe led to my lack of sex drive in the long term) so i used to 'force myself' into sex. All the time I'd be thinking to myself 'Am I wet enough for him yet?' and I did used to have sex when no where near fully aroused. And yes it did hurt. To the point where I even endeed up having panic attacks mid way through sex sometimes.

As for whether this is the norm for every long term relationship, call me an optimist but I don't believe it is: I believe that most women have done it when they didn't want it to one point or other, but that most probably learn their lesson after being in a relationship like that.

I am now in a relationship where I wouldn't dream of having sex until I wanted it (which admittedly is all of the time!) and having met him here at Pixies, he knows me so well sexually that I feel confident to express my naughtier side and have discovered (thankfully) that he loves it and knows just what he has to do to get me begging to have sex with him. This is the kind of sex I intend to have from now on - no more 'duty fucking' for me. :D

I've had times when I've had sex when I really wasn't in the mood....I'd do anything for SR. Usually when we get into it though I get in the mood really fast. I guess I always want it...I just may not think I do :) I know even at the worst of times its never been dry....he always knows what to do to get me in the mood and wet. So I've never really had anything forced on me.

My hubby would enver in his life force me to have sex when I didnt want to. But when I happen to not be in the mood, which is usually when I am not feeling good or just tired, I always accomidate his needs. I really dont mind either. I am happy to make him happy. Plus he usually helps me out when its vise versa. :)

~babybunny~