Q for the married men of Pixie's?
 

My wife and I recently talked about her interest in wanting to experience another man(I am the only man she has been with, as far as I know). I am just wondering what are some of the experiences other men have went through and how they dealt with them. Thank you
Fireman20

fireman20,

Would that be in sequence, or at the same time?

Sorry for being so vague, she is interested in trying a man separate from me. I think I understand what she is wanting and I think I am comfortable with our trust and respect for each other to help her experience this. I wonder what other men have felt or went through when their significant other tried this. I apologize if my words don't make sense, trying to work and fight a a virus today, I think the meds are helping a little.

Um, I"m poly, and so is my wife.

Thanks for that.
 

It didn't dawn on me what "poly" meant in the other thread until you posted gekkogecko, thank you. That provided me with a little more insight. Right now, we are just talking, not sure how confident she is that she really wants to persue it. I hope to get some time to talk with her some more about the subject, but I don't want to seem like I am pushing her in this direction.

I'm speaking only for myself,everyone feels differently!My wife & I were married for 44yrs on May1.If she wanted to try another man,our marriage would be over!Maybe I'm old fashioned,but it works for us! Irish :confused:

Me I'm not sure

I trust my wife implicitly, but I've also told her that if she does get the itch for some different meat, she has to let me know when & where, so I can watch. :corn:

Seriously (not that I'm just spoofing with the above remark), I have no experience to offer in this matter, but I have seen poly relationships go very well, & very badly too. The big hitch seems to be that nobody can tell if they're emotionally equipped to handle multiple partners until they dive in head first, & that's a lousy time to find the answer is "NO". For most, I think the best bet is to make it part of fantasy play, where hurt feelings tend to be more easily healed...but then again, what do I know?

From what I've seen this couple seems to have some good advice on the subject Dan & Jen

Married woman
 

Thoughts from a married woman...

Married blissfully for 14 years. Although he'd never admit it, about 3 years ago I brought up to my husband that maybe he'd like to try to have an affair? Or, we could try to find a "third" for a threesome, etc. I know he'd love to try to live out his 3some fantasy. What man wouldn't? But, he justs didn't seem to be very motivated. I dunno... cared too much about how I'd feel after? That's my guess. I finally suggested swinging. That way, we BOTH win. Swinging worked for us for a few years. Then we both eventually lost interest. And are currently a happy and still blissfully married couple. Neither one of us has any regrets, and if he wanted to go back to swinging, I'd be right there beside him. So, have you considered swinging?

:welcome: Rottn to Pixies. It's good to see some input from a lady that has been there. That's much of what this place is about and in ALL kinds of matters in life. Not just the 'best' part of it. :boink:

And thanks for bringing this thread back to the top of the pile.

Fireman, it sounds like she is sending you a message and you need to pay attention. If you ignore it, that could push her in that direction without your approval/knowledge. You need to face the issue together. Discuss it and maybe do some internet research together. Pixies is a good start but you might try a site called swinglifestyle.com. You can do a search on your zip code without joining the site and that will give you an idea of how many other couples are into that sort of thing in your area. I think you will both be surprised at how many there are.
Personally I think you are a very lucky guy that your wife is thinking along those lines (I wish mine would). It could work out well for you two so long as you are doing this together with mutual love and respect and a desire to satisfy each other's desires and curiosities.
Good luck and please let us know how it's going.

My wife and I are in a polyamourous relationship and she was actually the first one to bring this to our relationship. She had a friend online that wanted to take their relationship further and we talked about it (she could have hidden it and I wouldn't have known for Goddess-knows how long) and we decided to open our relationship that way and have had fights due to it (the guy said he loved me more once we started to edge along the poly lines and eventually said he wanted me to leave her for him, not happening).

We've also had a lot of breakthroughs in our relationship because we are willing to talk things out and take care of each other as best we can.

I think the things to ask about would include why she wants to experience another man, is there something you're lacking in (not trying to start trouble but there are things I want my wife to do that are great if she likes it and torture if she doesn't), is it just the 'trying something new' angle? As with any changes to a relationship, communication is the key to this.

I truly believe in my heart that a relationship doesn't only mean two people together forever, but everyone has to define what they feel and what they want in their life. If you need it, be willing to brave all of hell and half of heaven to get it. If you don't want it, be willing to talk to your partner about it and learn more about it. Often there are ways of doing things you don't like yourself so that your partner can still have fun. Understand that there are exceptions; if you want to tie someone up and do some pain-play, your partner not liking it makes it little better than torture. If you want torture, then remember I was here to help you and use the cane like I like it!

One rule for some of the scenes I like is simple and applies to just about everything in life, Safe, Sane, Consensual. If you can use communication to enforce that rule in your life, then you're doing something right.

Best of luck and I hope you find what makes you both happy and makes your life work in the real world, just remember that if anyone ever tells you how you should live, that you can always tell them they should go pound sand.

(Btw, hate to add to the wall of text but if you ever want to talk more about anything, PM me. I'll get back within a day or so. )