Graduation advice needed please
 

I recieved an invitation to my ex-wife's oldest daughter's graduation, next weekend. My ex wife and I are getting along fine, and so there are no "problems" there, but while her oldest daughter is the one who caused alot of the strife in our marriage, the daughter and I can be in the same room and be civil to each other these days. That wasn't necessarily the case in the past.

Since I recieved an invitation, what would be appropriate as a gift? Just a card? I certainly feel no need to give more of a gift than that, but is that just be being petty?

I have to work that day so I won't attend the party, even though I recieved an invitation.

Anyone got any good suggestions?

1nutworld,

I suggest a congratulatory card with your regrets at being unable to attend the party.

I'm heading to a graduation party right now. This year I am sending "motoring money" in the form of gas station gift cards to all my favorite graduates.

If you don't feel an attachment just follow jseal's advice.

Well, I've got a few in me so I'll try to be brief and as civil as possible (given that I know the story).

Be as civil as possible. Nice card and if you can swing a small gift or cash then do it.

Yeah, that's where I'd best stop with my advice on this one. :nod:

I wouldn't expect anything at all from my ex-stepfather with whom I didn't see eye to eye.

Can't quite see why you've been invited but if it's your ex's way of continuing to be on good terms with you, then that's sweet of her.

Perhaps a card to the ex step-daughter and a little note to her Mom, thanking her for the invitation, and subtly congratulating her on her achievements as a mother...something along the lines of 'I'm sure you must be so proud of her - seems like only yesterday she was...' doing whatever it was she was doing that you'll both remember - you must have at least one happy memory of her growing up.

That is EXACTLY why I would send the most impersonal card I could find, with the cash gift of every nickel I could squeeze out, so that I can permanently raise THAT drawbridge with a smile. :kissass:

A note is a good idea - just congratulate her.

If it were me in a similar situation...

I would send a congratulatory card with a universal gift card (American Express and Visa have them...and they can be purchased at places like drug stores or banks for a small fee) worth a very nominal amount such as $25...no more!

And...the ONLY reason I would include the gift was to spare the mom from possibly hearing "shit" from the daughter about me and my cheapness.

Don't fret this one nut! It might be one of those situations where you are damed if you do and damned if you don't. So just lean to the positive side and all should be fine.