Ignorance & not-caring rant!
 

Sorry to bother,you people with this,but I'm really pissed off.
Luckily,I don't handle things like I used too!As many of you know,
my youngest daughter is divorced.She has 2 sons,& the youngest
is Autistic.They live with her.The father,takes them on Wend.nights
& most Sundays.She has had the Autistic son on a diet,with no
wheat products or dairy.The father,has been told,MANY times,
about his dietary restrictions.Lately,he has been throwing tantrums,where he beats his head on the floor & screams.When my daughter stops the head beating,he bites his hand.He is closely monitored at school,and they have noticed that these out-
bursts are usually on a Mon or Thurs.The oldest son,finally told my
daughter,that his father has been feeding him,Doritos,etc.The
oldest son has even told the father,that his brother,shouldn't eat
them.Problem:If the outbursts,in school,are the day after the
father has had him,it's obviously,doing him damage.I don't under-
stand it.My wife even buys SPECIAL foods & snacks,just for him.
I don't want to interfere,but how can someone,have such little
reguard,for someone else? Irish

Why can't he have Doritos? They are corn.....and ok per the GFCF diet.


http://www.gfcfdiet.com/Fastfoods.htm

It is more likely that his behavioral changes are occuring because his father may not be supporting him in an ABA fashion like your daughter does.

Does he sleep at his father's on those nights?

As someone who had to keep milk, soy, wheat, peanut, and chocolate away from her daughter, I can understand your frustration, Irish. Unfortunately, as Lil has pointed out, in a situation like your daughter is in, there can be more than one explanation for the behavior. I hope things improve for all of you soon, no matter the cause.

No,he has to bring him back to my daughters.He is living with a girlfriend now & also has another child with her. Irish

To tell the truth,I'm not even sure if it is Doritos.This comes to me
third hand,& the names might not be right.One hand was his brother,& a 9yr old,doesn't know a Dorito from a Lays potato
chip!Sorry,I can't be more specific.I just can't comprehend,how a
father could care so little for his kid. Irish
P.S.Even if he's divorced from my daughter,they're still his kids!

I know that your daughter is doing everything she can to give your grandson the best chance possible to recover skills and overcome the horrible complexities that surround Autism. I know this diet has been extremely helpful to some kids (most potato/cornchips are pretty much ok so it would be better if he ate nothing but chips at his dad's:spin: ). It's a shame that your former son in law seems to unravel much of the hard work being done.

I don't know a lot about Autism, admitedly, but I do know that sufferers of the condition are often very easily unsettled by changes to their routine.

I would have thought that it's possible that your grandsons tantrums could be caused by the change to his routine rather than his diet when he's at his Dad's.

As a child of divorced parents, I know how easy it is for one parent to blame the other when things go wrong with the kids, but it's not always as black and white as you may think. You have no reason to believe that his father would sabotage your grandson's diet deliberately, and no actual proof that he has (as Lil points out, the things he's reportedly eating are ok for a wheat and dairy free diet) so perhaps you should be giving your ex son-in-law the benefit of the doubt, rather than jumping to conclusions before you know all the facts 1st hand.

lulabelle---He wouldn't sabatoge it deliberately!He just doesn't
care about anything,that doesn't concern him directly.I'm not
jumping to conclusionsThey were married,about 20yrs ago.I was against the marriage,because I thought that they were too young,but I thought that if you told me,something,at that age,I
would have done what I wanted anyway.I can't tell you everything,that has also occured,but,trust me,this isn't a snap
judgement.I'm not the type of person,to side with my daughter,
strictly because she's my daughter.Both of my kids,will tell you that! Irish

((((((((Irish)))))))))

Does the father ever go to the school to meet the teachers? Perhaps if he were invited to attend 'Open House' and spoke with them. Maybe the cause could be found.

The Autistic boy,has special handlers,all of the handlers & State
people,have been called & threatned by the father,so they pretty
much Know what he is like.This isn't the 50's or 60's.That doesn't
bother people anymore! Irish

What a shame to act like that when it's your own flesh and blood. I am sorry for you and your family that you're having to deal with this "father". I hope everything gets situated soon.

hugs.

LOL...the idea of behavior specialists as handlers, cause that basically is exactly what they are. Irish's wife and daughter are soooo on top of the situation, I am sure the ex won't cause any permanent damage just slow down progress. It's good to hear he is only stimming dangerously on the rare occasion now for so many it's a constant problem.