Sex before marriage?
 

I was watching something on TV recently about women who'd decided not to have sex before marriage.

Quite frankly, I thought their reasons were somewhat misguided and I was worried that their motivation for remaining celibate hinted at their emotional insecurities and a certain level of immaturity, rather than because of any deep seated moral belief.

So I was wondering, what others' views are: does anyone here believe in celibacy before marriage? Is anyone here planning on remaining a virgin before they wed?

If so, what are your reasons? Do you find it difficult to stick with your decision? Have you ever been tempted? Perhaps you used to believe in celibacy before marriage, but have since changed your mind?

Enquiring minds want to know! :D

not a virgin but here's my two cents.

I want a man who can satisfy me in bed and have the same desires that I do. I want to be able to connect with him mentally in our lovemaking. no, I wasn't a virgin when I married and I'm glad I wasn't. It was a big part in my decision in getting married. Granted, things changed in my marriage and we grew apart and divorced. But the next one will have to be able to satisfy me also. you can't be happy if you aren't satisfied.

That's my view too Cowgirltease....and I feel that sex complicates a relationship and that people need to practise a relationship which involves sex before marriage, as it takes a while to get it right. That's to say the relationship needs the practise, not the sex!

I got the impression that these girls on TV were trying to shield themselves from being hurt by men, and being taken advantage of, by not having sex. Both seemed very frightened that they were going to get used just for sex if they didn't impose these rules on themselves.

Definitely seems an archaic way of thinking to me. Why would you want to enter into a marriage without knowing whether or not you were sexually compatable? That's too big of an issue to leave to chance.

And I think you're right, Lou, I think they are sheilding themselves. Which begs the issue of whether or not they are actually secure enough in the relationship to be really ready for marriage in the first place.

Many people whether it be for cultural, religious, or personal reasons make the decsion to wait. Just like I pass no judgement on those who choose not to, I make no attempt to pass judgement on those who do.

Hi Lou

I want to say this before anyone else : "Would you buy a car without a test drive?"

it is a very personal decision, true, no matter what you decide. personally, i believe that since sex is such a HUGE part of life and love and marraige that finding out if you ar compatible and can be sexually stimulated by your spouse is very important. an orgasm-less marraige would be a fate worse than death and you can't leave your spouse just cause they can't make you hit that high note! my husband was my first (pre-marraige) so i guess i was just lucky that way, but i doubt we would have married if he didn't or couldn't turn me on, or i him.

Being someone who has been married 17 years I can tell you that our sex life now is nothing like it was 18 years ago when I took him for a test drive. To be honest he wasn't the best ride, but he came with much more important features. And I knew that with the features he came equipped with, our travels would only become more exciting. A test drive tells you nothing about long term performance. :p

good point, lil

Funny - I always thought that women waited until AFTER the wedding to begin abstaining from sex... :D

^^^^^^^^^
Most do, or they wait till about a year into it, then it slowly gets less and less, for whatever reasons.

Make that *some* women, skyler_m. And just for the sake of fairness, there are some men who do this, too. Ask me how I know this. :(

Sorry, Sugarsprinkles... didn't mean to say that ALL women did that. just some... most... well, we'll say some. :D

I agree with Loulabelle's statement about sex complicating a relationship. Love isn't always enough to make a relationship work. It takes information to truly know someone. The act of sex, and the emotions that follow the introduction of sex to your relationship reveal so much about a person's true nature. That's the person you need to get to know before you can be sure that you're compatible.

And on a physical basis, a ten minute trip around the block won't tell you if your ride will last beyond the payments...


but it will let you know how loud the radio is! :D

I do not believe in Virgin before marry. I want to get bang as much as possible before the day i say "I DO"

but anyway any parents would say to their kids or girls "No sex before marry" especially to girls.

these days you can not say virgin before marry, because you are not going to commit to someone or marry to someone at the age of 18 right? there is a whole career a head of you , so now you marry at the age of 27 to 30 . you can not give your virginity until 30, if you ever keep your virginity to 30, I believe these people are not willing to enjoy sex as much as people who open mind on the sex before marry. That is my opinion.

I do believe sex before marry is a very GREAT idea