3 company or crowd?
 

Ive recently been asked by my ex who happens to be my first lover and bet friend to be part of a 3 way with him and his current girlfriend...I see reasons as to why i want to do this (to be close again, to have some fun, experience new things etc) and reasons not to ( in the end messing up their relationship and messing up a friendship) What would yall do if in my place???

I can completely see the temptation... but I gotta warn you against it... I think that the risk is toooo great... I can't imagine risking a friendship in such a way... a 3some is always a complicated thing.. adding a friendship into the mix... bad idea.. just my opinion.

Good Luck

You said flat out...to be close again. If that is what you are hoping for then I say do not even consider doing it. If he invited you cause he wants to be close to you again, tell him you want him 1 on 1. Just sounds to me like you still have an attachment.

There is still an attachement..he was my first and one of my dearest friends. I guess I sorta already knew the answer but the idea was still playing on my mind. Thanks for the advice yall! It kind of confirms what I already knew :)

tink..

always follow your instinct... your gut will rarely lead you wrong

HUGS

My ex wanted a threesome. I was, and still am against it.

Maybe I'm just a sappy romantic, but I think sex without love is empty and not really enjoyable. And I don't think you can be in love with two people...love is for the one person that stands above the rest.

I think Lilith has it spot on - it's exactly what I was going to say.

Yes I agree with Lil too but have a little more to add.

except for a small percentage, 3somes are detrimental to a significant S/O relationship.

It opens the door for suspicion and jealousy. If you really love and value someone the best bet is to stay momogamous.

Your involvement would not enhance your ex's relationship and if you have design's on him then use a different tactic. This one could blow up in your face big time.

This has to be one of the most difficult points of any relationship! If it works it can be spectacular! If it doesn't the results can be just as spectacular- horribly so!!

I can understand the temptation! I have never done a threesome when a S/O was involved (only among friends), and it was a very exciting experience.

But I have to say Tink, it sounds to me like the reasons for doing it in your case would lead to disaster!

I hope that since Tink has found the answer she was looking for perhaps I could get some advice? It is along the same topic and I did not think it completely worth of its own thread. So here goes.



My girl has been talking about 3somes a lot since we got back together, she says it would be good for her writing but... I got back together with her because I reallized I want her all to my self. Yet, with such a thing as her career and future (both senior high schoolers, young neh?) I feel like not supporting her in her desires is dentrimental to her future. She wisehs to be a romantic/erotic novelists and tells me that to write about such experiances she will have had to experiance them.

Before she and I were ever together these ideas would completely have disgusted her, she has made a complete 180 over the last 9 months, I don't see it as worse, only she is more sexually minded (adventurous) than I now!

I guess I simply don't know what to do. If I loved her wouldn't I let her.. but because I love her shouldn't I want to... :confused: :confused: :confused:

Technoguy - seems to me like you're not comfortable about the idea, so the answer is DO NOT DO IT.

Don't allow yourself to get painted into a corner, where she's effectively emotionally blackmailing you into doing something you don't want to do.

You are both young, and you have plenty of time to experience these things later in life, if you wish, when you are both at a place where you feel you can deal with this emotionally.

Also, I would warn against anything that will put a strain on your relationship at a point where it is obviously a little shakey (you mention you have just got back together). I would also say that unless a couple are both totally and utterly into the idea and without any doubts or insecurities, it WILL cause more problems in the relationship, than already exist.

Finally, as for the experience making her a better writer, there are some excellent erotic writers here on this site, and a lot of stories about group sex experience. Most of them have probably been written based purely on fantasy, not on experience, so I really can't see that she will be impeded by in her writing by her lack of experience.

Hope this helps - sorry it's an essay as usual!

Well, I personally, don't have much to add on this subject, but what I do is here :

1) Tink : I agree, and respect what Lil has to say, BUt i also would trust Sharni.

I say just go with what your heart tells you. Which is probably the right choice. He'll understand. He'll have to! lol.

2) Techno : I agree with Loula. Lots of people can write without actually doing stuff. I think your woman is taking you for a fool, and a ride.

And while you didn't ask for this advise, I'd ditch her, if I were you. There's lots of good women out there. You don't need one who asks for your permission to cheat on you.


Hope this helps both of yas!

Thanks a ton for the responses. She has calmed down about a bit since then, she realized how dumb she was being, fighting her off my friends.

I am not against the idea of a 3some, just don't want to do it with one of my best friends.

Your completely right Loulabelle, if she and I are going to have sex with a third party, we better both want to have sex with that third party. So then it would be fine!

now, that comes up with the question, perhaps deserving a seperate thread, what if I wanted to suprise her with a chick.. she is bicurious, never done anything wtih a girl but always fantasies.