Incompatibility vs. Differing desires.
 

Sodbuster was talking about sexual incompatibility in another thread and thought it an interesting question. I think there is a difference in complete incompatibility and just having different levels of desire....what is you all's take on it?

What different levels of desire means to me is that 2 people's sex drives differ. In other words, one wants to have sex more often than the other. To me sexual incompatibility means that two people differ in what turns them on; they differ in just what sexual activities they prefer and possibly how to do them. For example, one person may be turned on by sucking a partner's toes, but the other person doesn't want to be the toe suckee or sucker. Maybe one person really loves anal intercourse but the partner has no interest in that activity whatsoever. Or maybe one person is greatly turned on by BDSM, but the other person is strictly vanilla.

Good topic
 

what if you and your partner are both incompatable and have differing desires.
As per blueswedes def'n.
2 people could have differnet levels of desire for sex and also be incompatable in regards to thier sexual preferences.
There are days I think I am there.
But thats another story for a rainy day.

If it's a good marriage/relationship elsewise........it just might work anyway!

Different levels of desire as opposed to incompatability? Things change along the way......ergo different levels. But if you're incompatable I think you'd have known it from the beginning and I feel it's your own damn fault if you continue into a relationship that you think you can change to your liking! I say.....get while the gettings good!

Believe it or not,I pretty much agree with what the women have
to say.Desire is DEFINATELY different,then incompatibility! Irish

Wow, I never expected anyone to pick up what I said and make it into a new thread... let me chime in.

I mentioned the incompatability because I had one with my girlfriend at the time. Our personal "levels of desire" were about the same, but our ideas of what was "good" were different. It came down to taking joy in the other's pleasure. I loved pleasing her, and I spent a lot of time and effort in doing it. I found myself contemplating new ways to tease her and please her when walking between my classes in school.

However, she really didn't seem to put much effort into my pleasure. I respected her wish for no sex before marriage. I respected that she didn't like to give oral (although I loved giving it to her, and she loved receiving it). All I got was a hand-job usually, which I had no problem with since I liked being with her. Unfortunately, she rarely did anything different. It was the same hand-job all the time. I gave her hints and stuff, and she would try out different things I described to her, but almost never more than once. The weird thing is that she was always wanting to fool around, she just didn't work on me.

At any rate, the relationship ended recently because of a lot more incompatabilities than just sexual.